HELPPPPPP PLEASE (10 points!!!!!
Read this paragraph that a student wrote as part of a paper for history class.
The Panama Canal remains one of the greatest inventions in the history of the world. "Until
its completion in 1914, only one long, arduous route existed for ships traveling between the
east and west coasts of the United States. The ships had to sail down to the southern-most
tip of South America, around the tip of Cape Horn, and then back up the western coast of the
continent. "When the Panama Canal was built, it gave ships a route through the middle of
Panama in Central America. This mind-blowing new route was way less intense and made the
ships' voyages approximately 8,000 nautical miles shorter.
Which sentence should the student revise to make it more appropriate for the audience and purpose?
"mind-blowing" and "way less intense" are not appropriate descriptions Of the new route. They could find synonyms for these words to better suit the rest of the paragraph.
